Day 20

Quick one from me tonight.

You know, seeing as I'm going to all the trouble of getting some discipline about me, I think that as the ones I live with are getting so much benefit out of it, the least they could do is put a couple of things on their own lists.

Dear Harvey,

While I appreciate your renewed efforts at remaining in bed all night, there are a couple of issues I'd like to address. Please consider not wasting two thirds of every muesli bar I hand to you. It would be nice if you could address me as 'Mummy' and not 'uuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh'. I'd love it if you would sit moderately still while I do up your buttons. Wash your hands after letting the dog lick them, and please stop putting my plasticware in the garbage bin.

Love, Mummy.

Dear Finn,

I know Harvey isn't sharing, and I don't really care. Please go and play with one of the other 7 million toys you own. If I have to ask you one more time where your iPod is and you answer 'I don't know,' I'm going to replace it with a rolling pin. Try playing Angry Birds on that. Flushing the toilet isn't terribly hard, but you will need to make an effort to remember it - after every time you wee. And from now on, when you are hungry, you will take that as a cue to start preparing our family's next meal. Spaghetti bolognaise will be fine. Please remove your finger from your nose. It is never acceptable, not even when you are going to sleep.

Love, Mum.

Dear Dave,

The washing basket is located approximately two and a half feet to the north west of where you currently drop your dirty clothes. An extra step and a fully extended arm should do it.

Love, Meg. xx